Talk to yourself…

… as you would to someone you love.

Mindfulness is often associated with creating a bed of serenity in our lives, emptying the mind of all thoughts and maybe even throwing in some OMs…

Let’s face it, for many of us this is not achievable, with our hectic, demanding lifestyles.

I like to see mindfulness as more an ability to reflect on our internal monologue. What kind of self-talk are we having, and what’s more are we fusing with and, ‘buying into’, these thoughts.

If we all try and stop to listen to our self-talk, we often can be shocked at how negative a tone it has. Often we find it easier to be compassionate and forgiving with others, yet quite harsh with ourselves.

Dr Kristin Neff is one of the founders of ‘Self Compassion’ and author of ‘Fierce Self-Compassion’.

When confronted with a challenge, big or small, Kristin encourages us to, ‘Talk to yourself as you would a close friend who may be suffering. Think carefully about the words and tone you use.’

The 3 main steps to self-compassion are:

1. Acknowledgement- awareness of when you are having a hard time, as apposed to ignoring it with distractions.

2. Common Humanity-recognising you are not alone and suffering/challenges are a normal part of life.

3. Make an effort-to talk to yourself with compassion, even using your own name, if you can bring yourself to do this!

Then something that I find helpful is to try and keep your humour. Most challenging scenarios can lead to an entertaining comedy sketch.

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